I’ve been writing a lot of plays lately for my school, and considering the end of the semester is coming up and others might be beginning to write plays, I thought I might contribute them to anybody who might be interested from the teaching community. The first is a play based on the book, “The Story of Castles”.
If you don’t have access to this book, it’s fine because the play is just a fun, historical account of how castles came about and how they developed with the times. Here it is:
The Story of Castles
(Raiders ride into village to attack the villagers.)
Raider 1&2: We are raiders! The meanest, nastiest people in the land!
Raider 2: Give us everything you have or we will set fire to your village!
Villager 1: (Giving a bag of money) Please, don’t hurt us! We are just poor farmers. This is all the money we have.
Raider 1: Good. Now, we will set fire to your village anyway!
Raider 2: Because we are the meanest, nastiest people in the land, and that’s what we do!
Raider 1 & 2: HA, HA, HA! (Ride off)
Lord: Excuse me, what’s the matter? Why are you crying?
Villager 2: (Crying)The terrible raiders destroyed our village and took all our money. Now, we have nothing.
Lord: Hmm. Maybe I can help you. I have knights who can protect your village from the raiders. Whenever you need help, just let me know and they will come to your assistance.
Villager 1: Really? You’re so kind. But we must do something for you in return…I know! We can provide you and your soldiers with vegetables and other produce from our farms.
Lord: (They shake hands) It’s a deal!
Knight 1: (Squeezed tightly together) Sir, we love working for you, but living in your tiny house feels a little squashed.
Lord: Yes, I can see that. I need a bigger place for all my hard-working knights to live. (Clap, clap) Everyone, get to work!
Knight: Hooray! Now, we have a wonderful house with a big wooden fence around us to keep our enemies away.
Lord: We cannot call this a “house” – it is too grand. From now on, we will call our home a “CASTLE”!
Knights: (Fire burns down the wooden castle) AH! FIRE!
Knight: Oh, dear. Maybe building a castle of wood was not such a good idea…
Lord: You’re right. We will build a new castle, but this time, it will be made of stone! (Clap, clap) Everybody, get to work!
Knight: Ah. This is much better. No more destructive fires from now on.
Villager: And there is even enough space for us villagers to live inside. We can do all the lord’s work inside the castle where we can stay safe.
Raider 1&2: (The raiders attack the castle) We are raiders! The meanest, nastiest people in the land!
Raider 1: I think you know why we’re here, lord. Pay up or else there will be big trouble!
Lord: (Handing over a bag of money) Oh, how embarrassing ~
Raider 2: It was a pleasure doing business with you, sir! See you again soon!
Raider 1 & 2: HA, HA, HA! (Ride off)
Knight: (Puts hand on lords shoulder) You can’t let that happen again, my lord. It would destroy your reputation.
Lord: Yes. I can’t lose face like that again. I will build the strongest castle in the land!
Knight 1: With a moat and drawbridge!
Knight 2: And battlements on top!
Lord: And extensions!
Villager 1: And a seven-11!
Lord: No. No seven-11, that would be silly. (Clap,clap) Everybody, get to work!
Knight 1: Now, we have a protective castle to keep those mean, nasty raiders out.
Raider 1: Who called us nasty! We’re not that bad, are we?
Raider 2: Actually, I think we are. Here’s your money back, Lord.
Raider 1 & 2: We’re sorry!
Lord: Now, we can live together in peace!
Knight 2: But, with the stone walls, it is a little noisy in here.
Knight 1: And with all these sweaty knights who don’t take showers, it’s awfully smelly, too.
Villager 2: And with these open fireplaces and narrow castle windows, it always gets to smoky inside.
Knight: Do you know what? I don’t like staying in a castle anymore. I think we would be better off in a house.
Lord: (Slapping forehead) OH, LORD!!