Featured blog

I’ve added a new section to the homepage for a featured blog. The header “Featured blog” is hyperlinked to the original blog and there is a blurb with the author, blog name, and intro.

The first featured blog is Stu Dawson’s Hiking in Taiwan. In his article, he discusses his second attempt at Snow Mountain.

Featured blog section

Featured blog section

 Check it out at http://www.cruisy.com.tw

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Off to a good start

Well, it’s been just over a week since I launched the Cruisy website, and I’m really happy with the way things are going. Since then, I’ve been sending messages out to WordPress bloggers, inviting members of Taiwan’s blogging community to join as a contributor. The Blogs page is filling out nicely now – to those who haven’t seen it yet, here’s how it looks (click to visit):

Blogs page

Blogs page

This is how it the Blogs section works – three of the latest entries from the bloggers in a category are displayed, with the most recent entry being larger (spanning the width of the page) and the next two most recent entries in columns underneath. If you want to see a larger list of the latest blogs in a particular category, you can click on the category name.

Here is a list of the bloggers who signed up this week (in no particular order):

Liefintaiwan’s Weblog

Johan Vosloo Photo Blog

Shashwati’s Blog

Hiking Taiwan

Life In Taiwan

Cracking the Egg 

Taiwankids (This one is my new blog)

Dave Hodgkinson also expressed interest in contributing, but he will be heading back to the UK next Wednesday (for good!), so that’s a shame.

Edit: I asked him if he would continue work on the site in the UK and this was his reply:

“Yes, but there won’t be much, if any, Taiwan content. If RUSI do another Taiwan event,
I’ll be there. I’ll also be tour managing Chthonic in the UK in November. But that’ll
be about all!”

Good luck, Dave!

So, anyway, thanks to all those who have shown support! Anybody living in Taiwan with a WordPress  (Edit: I’m slowly starting to accept other blogging platforms now, starting with Blogger!) blog is welcome to apply to become a contributor. You can read more about doing so at http://www.cruisy.com.tw and clicking the “Contribute” link at the bottom of the page.

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Cruisy is online!

Finally (phew!) the website that I’ve been working on for such a long time is up and running. The homepage consists of news (I haven’t got a Taiwan news source yet, so it’s all news from around the world) with sections: World, Business, Sport, Entertainment, Lifestyle, Technology, Science, Health, Arts, and Oddly enough.

Cruisy homepage

Cruisy homepage

At present there isn’t much Taiwan content on the homepage except for weather and links to Taiwan Flickr pool photos, which can be viewed through a pop-up gallery, but once there are some blog contributors there will be more local content to display.

So, I’m inviting Taiwan bloggers to contribute (unfortunately only WordPress blogs are supported at the moment, but I hope to change that in the future)!

How do you contribute your blog? Just register and click the “Yes, I want to contribute” button and, once your blog has been approved, your blog entries will automatically be grabbed and displayed as an article on Cruisy. The blog page will display the the name of your blog (linked through to your blog), an associated image, the title of the entry with a link through to the article, and a short snippet of the entry. Blogs will be organized into categories such as Lifestyle, Photography,  Music, etc.

There’s a dashboard available to contributors which shows a graph of the amount of hits your blog is getting over time, as well as other graphs, and a comments page with a display of all comments on your blogs (you can personally moderate your blog through this, too). I really welcome anyone with a Taiwan related WordPress blog to try it out, and if you find it’s not right for you, you can just hit the “No, I don’t want to contribute button” on the user profile page.

The overall aim of the website is to give people living in Taiwan a place to read and comment on the latest of Taiwan blogs, browse and comment on Taiwan Flickr photos, and catch up on international news.

Check it out at http://www.cruisy.com.tw. I’d be interested to hear what you think!

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School speech – Marcel Marceau

To go with  the set of plays that I recently posted, here is a speech written for a 6th grade student about Marcel Marceau (I know that the student is supposed to write it, but it didn’t happen in this case!) .

Marcel Marceau

Hello, ladies and gentlemen. I am Bip the clown! Actually, my real name is Marcel Marceau. Bip is a pantomime character I created 63 years ago, in 1947, which I used to perform many famous pantomimes. I am a mime artist, and I can make people laugh without saying a single word! I don’t need any props or supporting actors; I can create a whole story with just my body language! My art is similar to magic. I can make objects and people appear and disappear. I can create a world and make the audience see and believe this imaginary place.

So, how did I begin miming? Well, it’s quite a sad story. When the German army invaded my home country of France in World War 2, my brother and I joined the French resistance. The enemy soldiers would go from house to house looking for children. It was my job to hide the children and keep them quiet, so I developed body language that the children could understand.

 After the war, in 1946, I decided to study dramatic arts, then I was given my first major role in a pantomime called “Baptiste”. This was the springboard to my success, leading me to perform all over the world to spread “the art of silence”. Even though I mostly performed on stage, I also appeared on many TV shows and even starred in some movies. In the 1970 movie, “First Class”, played 17 different roles. I can tell you, that was very tiring!

 In 1995, I got together with Micheal Jackson to plan a concert for HBO, but unfortunately it didn’t go ahead because Micheal had a panic attack just before the performance. That reminds me of something very interesting… Do you know Micheal Jackson’s famous dance move, the “moonwalk”. You might be interested to know that Micheal got the idea for this from me!

I have had a wonderful life entertaining people and spreading important messages through my performances without words, and hope I can help people to understand that body language can be a very effective tool for communication. Thank you.

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School play 3 – Television madness

This is a longer play than my others – supposed to be about an hour long. Twelve students make up six pairs, five of whom present a TV program as a skit each, and the other two do advertisements in between each show (these aren’t included). They also take turns to introduce the next show on a sofa at the front of the stage. Here it is:

Television madness 

(On the sofa)

Izzy: Oh, I’m so bored. What can we do, Raymond?

Rayond: Well, we’ve finished all our homework and we’ve been good. Let’s watch TV!

Izzy: OK, but only for half an hour. Otherwise, it’s not good for our eyes.

Raymond: I know a great talk show – it’s called Oblah.

Izzy: Yes, I love that show!

(Pointing the large remote control towards the audience)

Izzy & Raymond: Let’s watch “Oblah”!

(First show begins)

Backstage: And now, let’s welcome everybody’s favorite talk show host – Oblah!

(Blah, blah, blah song for entrance dance)

Oblah: Thank-you, thank-you. I’m Oblah, and tonight we have some very special guests. The first of whom, is a legend of the music industry. You might know him better as “The King”. Everybody, please put your hands together for…Elvis Presley!

Elvis: (Shaking hips and deep voice) Thank-you, thank-you very much.

Oblah: Mr. Presley, it’s such a pleasure to have you on our show.

Elvis: Thank-you, thank-you very much.

Oblah: I just love your music.

Elvis: Thank-you, thank-you very much.

Oblah: Please, tell the audience how you became the most popular musician of the 20th century.

Elvis: Well, I think it must have been my shoes.

Oblah: Excuse me?

Elvis: My lucky blue suede shoes. They just make me want to shake my hips, like this. Come on everybody! Shake with me!

(Blue suede shoes song and exit)

Oblah: I must buy myself some of those shoes. Our next guest has sold over 40 million singles world-wide. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome…Lady Gaga!

(Rah, rah, rah, bah, bah song for entrance dance)

Oblah: Miss Gaga, it’s so wonderful to have you here.

Lady Gaga: Thank-you, you can just call me Lady.

Oblah: OK…Lady. You’ve shot to fame over the past few years. Please tell us how are handling your popularity?

Lady Gaga: I love it. It gives me a chance to wear amazing costumes and perform with wonderful artists.

Oblah: Are there any down-sides of being so famous?

Lady Gaga: Well, yes. I have become extremely busy. So busy, in fact, that I can’t even answer my telephone. I don’t like it, but nowadays, I have to tell some people to stop calling me!

(Telephone song and exit)

Oblah: Sadly, that’s all we have time for. This is Oblah saying thanks again to all our wonderful guests, and thank YOU for tuning in.

(On the sofa)

Bill: What shall we watch now, Andrew?

Andrew: There’s a new drama on TV. It’s called “Love lost, revisited”. I really like it.

Bill: Oh, yeah. But, that show always makes me cry…

Andrew: Don’t worry. I’ve got some tissues.

Bill:Great!

Andrew & Bill: Let’s watch “Love lost, rekindled”!

(Start of second show) 

Powerpoint: It was on the most ordinary of days…

Maria: One cappuchino, please. Hold the sugar.

Powerpoint: In the most ordinary of places…

(Maria goes to table, sits down and rests her books on the table)

Powerpoint: Something very out of the ordinary happened.

(Joseph walks past table knocking her books to the floor. Maria jumps up in surprise and they both go down to pick up the books, where they meet eyes. Maria steps out of position to the front of the stage, as if speaking her inner thoughts. Joseph stays in position.)

Maria: Who is he? I haven’t seen him around here before. He seems different to everybody else…What’s happening to me? I’ve never felt this way before ~

(Maria goes back to crouching position. Joseph gets up and moves to front of stage)

Joseph: Oh, what a beautiful girl! She’s looking me…I should say something, something smooth. But, what? Hurry up, this is your chance. Don’t blow it! Just say anything that comes into your head…

(Joseph moves back to crouch. Music starts (Savage Garden – Truly Madly Deeply)

I’ll be your dream. I’ll be your wish. I’ll be your fantasy… (Joseph and Maria sing the lyrics to each other)

Powerpoint: One year later…

Maria: Joseph, do you recognize this place?

Joseph: Of course I do, honey. It was the place we first met. I’ll never forget that day.

Maria: You were so charming.

Joseph: Yes, I know. I mean…I was?

Maria: You told me you wanted to stand with me on a mountain, and bathe with me in the sea. You said you want to stay with me forever, until the sky falls down on you. Oh, you have such a way with words.

Joseph: Um, yes…About that “staying with you forever” part. There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.

Maria: Ah ha…

Joseph: It’s my job. I’ve been relocated to New Zealand.

Maria: New Zealand? You know I can’t go to New Zealand!

Joseph: I know, but there’s no other way…

(Music – “Baby” by Justin Bieber)

Powerpoint: Then, long after these events had become fleeting memories…

(Joseph and Maria walk towards and past each other. Joseph turns around.)

Joseph: Maria?

Maria: Joseph? I thought you were in New Zealand!

Joseph: Yes, but it wasn’t quite the same. You know…the same as…

Maria: Before?

Joseph: Yes…(Joseph gestures to the coffee shop behind them where they had met)…Cappuccino?

Maria: Why not ~

(Truly Madly Deeply music starts up again. Joseph and Maria walk into shop and sit down at table to talk.)

(On the sofa)

Angel: That was so sad. But I do love a happy ending.

Paul: Me, too. Hey, we should stop eating junk food. We’ll get fat!

Angel: You’re right. Hey, I know a great weight loss program. It’s called “Fatburner”.

Paul: Just what we need!

Angel and Paul: Let’s watch “Fatburner”!

(Start of third show)

(Doing aerobics to “I like to move it” song)

Sarah: Work that body! Yeah! Come on! One more!…Two more! Keep it going!…Three more! That’s it! Now, stretch it out! Great job, everybody! (Music ends)

Hi guys, you all know me – Sarah Skinny, your favorite fitness instructor and host of “Fatburner” – the show where fat becomes history. Our next guest has been trying to lose weight for six months now, but has had no success. Let’s welcome, Bobby!

Bobby: Thank you, Sarah.

Sarah: Bobby, we all know that doing exercise is a great way to stay healthy. You can move much more freely when you are not overweight. Is that why you want to lose weight?

Bobby: No, Sarah. That’s not my reason.

Sarah: Oh, I see. Well, it must be because you want to have more energy. Right?

Bobby: Um, no. That’s not it either.

Sarah: Oh, dear. Then, I have no idea. Bobby, why do you want to lose weight?

Bobby: Well, Sarah, it’s simple, really. I’m doing it for the ladies!

Sarah: Pardon?

Bobby: Let me explain. If I take care of my body and keep myself in shape, it shows that I am motivated and have good self-discipline. I can become a better person and can attract the lady of my dreams!

Sarah: Hey, that’s a great point, Bobby. Everybody in the audience. Are there any single ladies in the audience?

Oh, yes. All the single ladies, put your hand up. I’m your man!

(“Single ladies” song)

Bobby: Wow, I feel better, already! And I can feel my fat burning away. But I have one question, Sarah. My bottom is still so big. What’s the best way to get a nice skinny bottom like yours?

Sarah: Oh, that’s easy, Bobby. You just need to shake it.

Bobby: Shake it?

Sarah: Yes, shake it like a polaroid picture! Come on, try it with me!

(“Hey, Ya!” song, twisting dance)

Bobby: It really works! Thank-you, Sarah.

Sarah: You’re welcome. Hey, what are you doing later? Do you want to go and get a burger?

Bobby: Sure!

(Exit, hand-in-hand)

(On the sofa)

Charlotte: What’s the time, Jason?

Jason: Hm? Oh, it’s almost six o’clock.

Charlotte: Six o’clock? Ah!

Jason: What’s the matter, Charlotte?

Charlotte: It’s nearly time for the TVHM evening news!

Jason: Really? Then, we’d better change the channel. Quickly!

Charlotte and Jason: Let’s watch “TVHM News”!

(Start of fourth play)

(News anchors sitting at desk)

Tony: Good morning, Taiwan. I’m Tony.

John: And I’m John.

Tony & John: Welcome to TVHM News!

(News music interlude)

Tony: In tonight’s top stories, the National Bank of Taiwan was robbed in broad daylight.

Powerpoint: Shot of bank with robber fleeing.

Tony: And, on the east coast of Taiwan, typhoon Judy has unleashed itself causing widespread destruction.

Powerpoint: Shot of typhoon.

(News music interlude)

Tony: At 2 o’clock this afternoon, a lone thief raided the SongDe branch of National Bank, making off with 10 million dollars. This picture of the robber was taken on closed circuit TV:

Powerpoint: Shot of angry thief.

Tony: Our Taipei correspondent, Frank, is on the scene. Frank~

(Prerecorded video)

Frank: Thanks, Tony. I’m standing outside the entrance of SongDe National Bank, where the crime took place. Incredibly, because the robber was wearing a disguise, nobody has been able to make a clear identification. All we know is that the thief was wearing a black face-mask and a black and white striped shirt. Let’s see if we can find a witness….Ah! Excuse me sir? Do you have a moment?

(Robber comes into frame)

Robber: Um…yes…

Frank: The bank has recently been robbed. Did you see anything?

Robber: No, do I look like I would have seen anything? What are you trying to say?

Frank: Oh, nothing…I mean…Maybe you might have seen the thief. He was wearing a black mask and a striped shirt, just like you. Hey, wait a minute!

Robber: That’s all we have, Tony. Back to you!

(Thief runs off)

Tony: Mm…Very strange. Well, I sure hope they catch the thief.

John. I’m sure they will, Tony. In our next story, residents of Ilan county are fighting the destructive force of typhoon Judy. Let’s go to Ted. Ted, are you there?

(Prerecorded video: Ted’s hair gelled to on side, struggling to stand upright, yelling into camera. Debri fling through air)

Ted: Yes, John! I’m standing in a house in the small town of Nan SuAo! As you can see, the windows have been blown out, and the wind is blowing straight through! I have the owner of the house here. Mr. Lin, how are you coping?

(Mr. Lin stuggles into shot)

Mr. Lin: Oh, it’s terrible! I forgot to tape up my windows! My house is a mess! Wooh!

(Mr.Lin flies backwards out of shot. Crash!)

Ted: Back to you, John.

John: Thanks, Ted. I hope Mr. Lin in OK. As, you can see, it’s very important to tape up your windows when a typhoon comes.

Tony: Indeed. That’s all we have time for, folks. I’m Tony.

John: And I’m John. See you next time~

Tony & John: On TVHM news!

(News music interlude.)

(On the sofa)

Sabrina: The news was a little strange tonight, don’t you think, Vincent?

Vincent: It sure was! I feel like watching something more light-hearted.

Sabrina: I know a fun game show. It’s called “Family Feud”.

Vincent: Yes, that’s the best! But after this we’d better turn the TV off.

Sabrina: Mm, we’ve already been watching TV for half an hour.

Sabrina & Vincent: OK, let’s watch “Family Feud”!

(Start of last play)

Jacky: Hello, everybody. I’m your host, Jacky.

Little S: And I’m Little S.

Jacky: Welcome to Taiwan’s favorite game show, “Family Feud”. We have some fun and exciting games coming up, for you to enjoy.

Little S: That’s right Jacky. The first game is called, “Secret number”. We need volunteers from the audience.

Jacky: Don’t be afraid, everybody. We won’t bite! Now, I would like everybody to check the color of the sticker your hand.

Little S: Yes, if you have a yellow sticker, please come up to the stage. We need ten people!

(Chinese translation)

Jacky: Great. Now we have some contestants to play our game. Let the first game begin.

Jacky & Little S: SECRET NUMBER!

(Music)

Jacky: Contestants, please do not turn around.

(Chinese translation)

Little S: Everybody in the audience. Here is the secret number!

(Chinese translation)

(Number is displayed on screen)

Jacky: Now, contestants, you must try to guess the number behind you. Little S and I will ask you, one by one.

(Chinese translation)

Little S: Are you ready?

Jacky: (To first contestant) Please guess a number between 1 and 100.

(Chinese translation)

(Continue narrowing down number range until number is guessed.)

Jacky: Congratulations, you are the winner of “secret number!”. We have a wonderful prize for you! (Give prize)

Little S: Everybody, clap your hands!

(Chinese translation)

(Contestants leave stage to music)

Little S: Now, it’s time for our next game, “Don’t pop my balloon”. Ladies and gentlemen, please check your hand again. If your sticker is red, it’s your turn to come up! We need ten more people!

(Chinese translation)

Little: First you will need to put a balloon around your foot. Balloons for everybody!

Jacky: Let me explain the rules. When you hear music, you need to pop all the balloons you can, but be careful not to pop your own!

(Chinese translation)

Little S: The last person to have a full balloon is the winner!

(Chinese translation)

Jacky: OK, is everybody ready? Great, start the music!

(Play for five or six rounds)

Jacky: Wow. We have a winner!

Little S: Here is your prize. (Give prize) Thank you, you may go back to your seats.

(Contestants leave stage to music)

Jacky: That’s all we have, ladies and gentlemen. See you next time on…

Jacky & Little S: “Family Feud”!

(Ending music)

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School play 2 – The Shocking Story of Electricity

Here’s the second school play I’ve recently written. It’s based on the book, “The Shocking Story of Electricity”, which documents the experiments that early scientists used to find out more about  electricity and how these discoveries led to the modern conviences we have today.

The Shocking Story of Electricity

The Shocking Story of Electricity

The Shocking Story of Electricity

Girl:

Narrator:

Thales:

Franklin:

Galvani:

Volta:

Faraday:

Girl: (Using a hairdryer) Electricity is all around us, making all kinds of machines work. But what is it? And where did it come from?

Narrator: Actually, there is an interesting story about how electricity was discovered. Would you like to hear it?

Narrator 1: Sure!

Narrator 2: Well, long ago, in 600BC a scientist named Thales found that if he took a piece of amber and rubbed it with cat fur, it created a kind of electricity.

Thales: (Rubs amber on a cat) The amber has an invisible pulling force. It’s like magic! Let me try it with another material – copper (Rubs it on a cat). It doesn’t work. How could that be? Could it be that some materials create this force while others don’t?

Narrator: In 1752, Benjamin Franklin, thought that lightning was an electrical force in nature and decided to prove it.

Franklin: I will put a metal rod on the top of this kite and tie a key to the kite string, then I’ll fly it in the sky on a stormy day. The lightning will hit the kite and travel down the string where it will hit the key. From this experiment, I can see that metal is a good conductor of electricity, and there is electricity in nature!

Narrator: In 1786, Luigi Galvani made an important discovery when he was cutting a frog’s leg.

Galvani: It jumped! But why? It must be because I am using a metal knife and the tray is also metal. Electricity is carried from my body, through the knife and into the frog’s leg. The frog’s leg is made from water, so it also conducts electricity.

Narrator: Galvani’s friend, Alessandro Volta, got an idea from Galvani’s experiment.

Volta: Hey! Maybe I could use my tongue like you used the frog!

Galvani: Excuse me?

Volta: If I put this coin on my tongue, and another one below, I get a tingling feeling. What happens if I put a lot of coins together? Let me try…Copper, wet cardboard, zinc, wet cardboard…

Narrator: Little did Volta know, but he was about to invent the first battery.

Volta: Wow, I have created an electric current!

Narrator: But, possibly most important inventor in the history of electricity was Michael Faraday.

Faraday: Electricity causes the wire to move around the magnet. This means electricity can be used to make things move! I will call this new invention a “motor”.

Narrator: Not only did Faraday discover that electricity can be used to make things move, he also found moving things can be used to make electricity.

Faraday: The spinning energy of this windmill can be turned into electricity. We can make enough to give power to everybody in the world!

Girl: So, this hairdryer works because Michael Faraday invented the motor?

Thales: No, it is because I, Thales, discovered electricity in the first place!

Franklin: And because I proved there is electricity in nature!

Galvani: And because I, Galvani, found out more about electricity conductors!

Volta: And because I, Volta, invented the battery!

Faraday: And because I, Faraday, invented the motor and the generator!

Girl: Well done, everybody, and thank you. Because without you, we wouldn’t have the modern conveniences we have now!

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School play 1 – The Story of Castles

I’ve been writing a lot of plays lately for my school, and considering the end of the semester is coming up and others might be beginning to write plays, I thought I might contribute them to anybody who might be interested from the teaching community. The first is a play based on the book, “The Story of Castles”.

The Story of Castles

The Story of Castles

If you don’t have access to this book, it’s fine because the play is just a fun, historical account of how castles came about and how they developed with the times. Here it is:

The Story of Castles

Characters:

Lord:

Raider 1:

Raider 2:

Villager 1:

Villager 2:

Knight 1:

Knight 2:

(Raiders ride into village to attack the villagers.)

Raider 1&2: We are raiders! The meanest, nastiest people in the land!

Raider 2: Give us everything you have or we will set fire to your village!

Villager 1: (Giving a bag of money) Please, don’t hurt us! We are just poor farmers. This is all the money we have.

Raider 1: Good. Now, we will set fire to your village anyway!

Villagers: Huh?

Raider 2: Because we are the meanest, nastiest people in the land, and that’s what we do!

Raider 1 & 2: HA, HA, HA! (Ride off)

(Sad music)

Lord: Excuse me, what’s the matter? Why are you crying?

Villager 2: (Crying)The terrible raiders destroyed our village and took all our money. Now, we have nothing.

Lord: Hmm. Maybe I can help you. I have knights who can protect your village from the raiders. Whenever you need help, just let me know and they will come to your assistance.

Villager 1: Really? You’re so kind. But we must do something for you in return…I know! We can provide you and your soldiers with vegetables and other produce from our farms.

Lord: (They shake hands) It’s a deal!

(Happy music)

Knight 1: (Squeezed tightly together) Sir, we love working for you, but living in your tiny house feels a little squashed.

Lord: Yes, I can see that. I need a bigger place for all my hard-working knights to live. (Clap, clap) Everyone, get to work!

(Busy music)

Knight: Hooray! Now, we have a wonderful house with a big wooden fence around us to keep our enemies away.

Lord: We cannot call this a “house” – it is too grand. From now on, we will call our home a “CASTLE”!

Knights: (Fire burns down the wooden castle) AH! FIRE!

Knight: Oh, dear. Maybe building a castle of wood was not such a good idea…

Lord: You’re right. We will build a new castle, but this time, it will be made of stone! (Clap, clap) Everybody, get to work!

(Busy music)

Knight: Ah. This is much better. No more destructive fires from now on.

Villager: And there is even enough space for us villagers to live inside. We can do all the lord’s work inside the castle where we can stay safe.

Raider 1&2: (The raiders attack the castle) We are raiders! The meanest, nastiest people in the land!

Raider 1: I think you know why we’re here, lord. Pay up or else there will be big trouble!

Lord: (Handing over a bag of money) Oh, how embarrassing ~

Raider 2: It was a pleasure doing business with you, sir! See you again soon!

Raider 1 & 2: HA, HA, HA! (Ride off)

Knight: (Puts hand on lords shoulder) You can’t let that happen again, my lord. It would destroy your reputation.

Lord: Yes. I can’t lose face like that again. I will build the strongest castle in the land!

Knight 1: With a moat and drawbridge!

Knight 2: And battlements on top!

Lord: And extensions!

Villager 1: And a seven-11!

Lord: No. No seven-11, that would be silly. (Clap,clap) Everybody, get to work!

(Busy music)

Knight 1: Now, we have a protective castle to keep those mean, nasty raiders out.

(Raiders enter)

Raider 1: Who called us nasty! We’re not that bad, are we?

Raider 2: Actually, I think we are. Here’s your money back, Lord.

Raider 1 & 2: We’re sorry!

Lord: Now, we can live together in peace!

All: Hooray!

Knight 2: But, with the stone walls, it is a little noisy in here.

Knight 1: And with all these sweaty knights who don’t take showers, it’s awfully smelly, too.

Villager 2: And with these open fireplaces and narrow castle windows, it always gets to smoky inside.

Knight: Do you know what? I don’t like staying in a castle anymore. I think we would be better off in a house.

Lord: (Slapping forehead) OH, LORD!!

(Ending music)

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